Walt Whitman and His Support for Wounded Soldiers

July 24, 2022 / Amanda Cook / 1 Comment

Walt Whitman was born in the early 1800s on Long Island. During the Civil War, Walt Whitman’s brother was hospitalized in Washington DC. When Whitman came from New York to see him, he was already passionate about the Union’s cause. Seeing wounded soldiers in DC, he decided to become a volunteer nurse for the hospital. During his time there, he visited many soldiers, helped them compose letters home, and brought them little gifts. His dedication and kindness brought joy and peace to soldiers who were far from home and had no relatives or friends nearby.

His support for wounded soldiers and his need to write about their cause can be see in Not Youth Pertains to Me: “I have nourish’d the wounded and sooth’d many a dying soldier,/ And at intervals waiting on in the midst of camp,/ Composed these songs.”

Check out Poetry for Young People – Walt Whitman for more facts about this amazing writer and his support and compassion for soldiers and their families. This book is idea for children 9 and up.

Activities for Parents and Teachers

Learn about the branches of the military and ways we can help soldiers and veterans through various nonprofits.

We hear a lot about what bystanders can do when they see bullying. Some effective ways are simple: 1) ask someone if they want to hang out or 2) change the subject when gossip starts. Whitman’s poems and his time as a volunteer nurse are great examples of the power that simple acts of kindness can have on others. He wanted wounded soldiers to know that they were appreciated and had a friend to help them.

Questions for Journaling or Discussion

What is one small act of kindness you can do to help others in your community today?

Has anyone in your family served in the military? What do you know about their service and those that helped them, if they were injured?

Book Review: Brook & Brax Undercover Ninjas

April 25, 2022 / Amanda Cook / Leave a comment

I am always looking for great books to introduce children to through the Respect Program. In our digital age, getting children to read and discuss great stories with positive messages is more important than ever. I was therefore delighted to read Brook & Brax Undercover Ninjas recently and I want to encourage you to check it out for the children in your life.

The book was written by Antonio Lumley and is ideal for children ages 8-10. The book is 142 pages and has comic book style illustrations at the end of each chapter that summarize the action in that section. Marc Rene does a beautiful job with the illustrations, bringing to life the adventures of Brook and Brax.

The story starts out with an introduction to first graders Brook and Brax, who are best friends. One day they are being bullied by Puke and Lil Dumps. While running away they duck into a store and meet Sensi Iron Post, a wise man who teaches them martial arts.

At first, the two boys think learning martial arts will be easy. However, they soon learn it is a lot of work because “anything as great as being a ninja is not easy to obtain.” We then fast forward five years, all of which they have spent in training. At this point, Sensi Iron Post gives them magical ninja suits to help them to protect those in need. The descriptions of each suit are wonderful.

Once they have their suits to enhance their martial arts skills, they head to school and realize that the students, teachers and principal are in danger. While they have been focusing on their training and classes, they realize that Puke, Lil Dump, and their group of bullies known as the Stank Rebels have taken over most of the school. The Stank Rebels are stealing, taunting, and assaulting adults and students daily and it is up to Brook and Brax to save the day.

One thing that impressed me about this story is that during their battles with Puke, Lil Dump, and the Stank Rebels, the two boys use the minimum force needed in every fight. For example, Book and Brax have ninja suits that can make weapons. At one point, one of the boys makes makes daggers. “Fortunately for the Stank Rebels, these weapons are make of wood instead of metal; therefore, it wouldn’t cut and slice, but it sure would hurt if hit with them.” Deciding to restrain, not destroy, the Stank Rebels is a powerful sign of discipline in both Brook and Brax.

Antonio and his thoughts on bullying are just as interesting as the story. He told me, “I was raised in the inner city of Boston, Massachusetts by my mother in a single parent household. Often times I got bullied as a child by local gangs. So, when Brook & Brax get bullied by Puke, Lil Dumps, and the Stank Rebels, that actually came from my own experiences. Although I did not train in the martial arts, I had to learn on my own how to fight and defend myself or else the cycle would never be broken. I also learned that bullies typically pick on others that they perceive as weak or abnormal, in order to make up for whatever they are lacking mentally, physically, or spiritually. They themselves often come from broken homes and that is one mechanism they use to lash out or find confidence.”

You can definitely see the influence of broken homes in the lives of Puke and Lil Dumps, which also adds an added depth to the story.

Overall, the book is uplifting and entertaining. I hope you will pick up a copy for you and your child to read soon. The story is a great way to remind us all that we can learn to protect ourselves and be supportive of others, especially when we have good friends by our side.

Antonio Lumley and his book *Brook & Brax Undercover Ninjas*

Book Review: The Red Pig

April 17, 2022April 17, 2022 / Amanda Cook / 1 Comment

I recently met Kelly Ann Guglietti, a wonderful children’s author with a passion for helping children build their self-esteem and empathy to help protect them against bullying.

The Red Pig is a wonderful book of hers for early elementary school children. In addition to the story, there is a section at the end of the book filled with activities and questions for children to answer about how to deal with bullying. The questions are a great way to help children think about how they can create a safe social culture in their school or community center.

The story is about a pig, Cyrus Bacon, who lives on a farm with other animals. He is red because he is angry about being bullied. In his anger, he starts to bully those who have been unkind to him. Realizing that this is only making the other animals angry, he decides to change his ways. He begins by volunteering to help the other animals plan an anniversary party for Farmer Ray and his wife Adelia. At first no one wants him to help. However, once he apologizes for being rude to them, he is invited to be a part of the anniversary party team.

The story is realistic in that a person being bullied will sometimes start to bully others. Cyrus could have continued to be bitter and resentful towards the other animals, but he chooses to end the cycle of bullying by taking responsibility for his actions. By being the one to change, he changes the social culture.

I wish the farm animals in the story had not bullied Cyrus to begin with, but I am very proud of Cyrus. His kinder behavior stops the cycle of bullying that all the characters have been trapped in for a long time.

Learn more about Kelly Ann’s books at: https://www.kelly-ann-guglietti.com

Kelly Ann Guglietti, with her book *The Red Pig*

Book Review: The Power of One

April 6, 2022 / Amanda Cook / Leave a comment

Trudy Ludwig has been a favorite children’s author of mine since I met her in the mid-2000s. Her books present wonderful life lessons to help children deal with bullying and stand up for themselves in an assertive, rather than aggressive, way.

Her latest book is The Power of One – Every Act of Kindness Counts. The story is about all the small ways we can be kind, build friendships, and grow a caring community.

The text shares specific things we can do for others while the illustrations show seeds being planted which eventually turn into a thriving community garden. The illustrations by Mike Curato are beautiful. As the characters in the story plant seeds, Curato’s pictures bring the garden to life and shows the joy of building a positive community.

Trudy also includes information for adults in the back of the book on simple ways to grow a positive community through actions like “including the excluded in your group, game, or activity” and “having the courage to take responsibility for intentional/unintentional wrongdoing by apologizing and making up for the hurt you’ve caused others.”

My favorite part in the story is when she says, “One good listener…can make even the smallest voice heard.” Listening to others is one of the most powerful things we can do to make all children and adults feel welcome and appreciated. Getting children to think about the importance of listening is a critical step in stopping bullying, understanding different perspectives, and creating a safe social culture where children can thrive.

“You don’t have to be a superhero to be a hero in another kid’s eyes,” says Trudy. “It all starts with each of us reaching out in kind ways to make a positive difference in others’ lives. And the more acts of kindness we do, the better we become in improving our relationships with one another and our communities.”

Trudy Ludwig and the cover of her latest book.

Why We Must Do More Than Say “Stop Bullying” to Stop Bullying

March 17, 2022 / Amanda Cook / 2 Comments

I was an anti-bullying consultant with a rural school district early in my career. One day I was leading a focus group with 5th and 6th graders about how they felt about the school’s culture and rules. One boy said in frustration, “I know what I’m not supposed to do, I don’t know what I am supposed to do!”

I think about this boy often as I teach children positive social behaviors to replace negative ones. Telling children “bullying is wrong” should be the beginning of an anti-bullying conversation, not the end of it. In the Respect Program we provide a variety of tools to children to help them regulate their emotions, build confidence, and stand up to a bully without becoming mean. This way, when they are thinking about bullying someone or need help dealing with bullying, they know what they are “supposed to do!”

The Respect Program empowers children to stop bullying by:

1) Creating art, acting, and writing so they can find new hobbies that give them confidence. Hobbies are also a great way to make new friends.

2) Participating in role plays where they practice different ways to stand up to a bully without becoming mean.

3) Journaling, pounding on clay, and doing other safe creative activities to deal with their anger and frustration.

4) Thinking about the kind of person they want to be. For example, we discuss the importance of being kind, even when you have nothing to gain, and keeping the promises we make to others.

What are other effective strategies to stop bullying in your school or community organization?

Children in a Respect Program lesson decorating
mugs with anti-bullying/healthy friendship themed art.

Healing from Bullying Will Happen, Stories Can Help.

February 15, 2022 / Amanda Cook / Leave a comment

Reading fiction and non-fiction about how others face trauma and bullying can help us process what we went though and heal.

You will heal. Things are going to get better.

Being Confident Can Help a Child Be Bully Proof

February 9, 2022February 17, 2022 / Amanda Cook / Leave a comment

When I work with children, each child decorates a box around the theme: “What is my talent?” I also have them write down their skills on pieces of paper to put in the box. That way, they take home a tangible reminder of the talents and hobbies they have. Some write about their love of playing guitar or dancing. Others write about being good at chess or sports.

I’m Gonna Like Me: Letting of a Little Self-Esteem by Jamie Lee Curtis is a great book to pair with this activity for children ages 4-8.

The more a child knows their worth, the less they will be bothered by those who bully them. After all, why listen to a bully when you know what they say is not true?

Strong self-esteem, hobbies, and talents help children relax and feel confident during times they are bullied. Making these boxes with classmates also helps children to have a shared joyful experience together, which supports a safe social environment.

If you are interested in bringing the Respect Program to your community, please let me know. I have brought the program to schools, after-school programs, summer camps, and houses of worship. In addition to children’s lessons, I also offer anti-bullying workshops for adults where I share various research-based strategies and an overview of the impact bullying has on children.

A child in the Respect Program decorates a box and includes a note that says “I’m good at piano.”

Stop Bullying Before it Starts with Compassionate Communication

January 3, 2022 / Amanda Cook / Leave a comment

When children or adults are rude to someone, there is a natural reaction to justify that behavior. Such as, “I told them their idea is terrible because it is!” Whether it was a terrible idea or not, telling someone how wrong they are will certainly not solve the problem. Why not ask the person some questions about her perspective on this “terrible idea”? I find that when I stop being judgmental and start understanding the person’s perspective my compassion increases, which opens up a healthy dialogue with that person and allows the two of us to find solutions. This dialogue also increases our ability to work together as a team in the future.

When children (or adults) are caught bullying others, be prepared for a list of reasons that they feel totally justified in their behavior. When we are angry and lashing out, we need to be reminded to:

Learn to deal with anger in healthy ways, like journaling or talking with a trusted friend.
Be open and honest about our role in conflicts with each other
Apologize when we are acting like bullies, and
Make amends. This is not just about saying “I’m sorry,” but rather about being more considerate and kind in the future. Even if most of a situation is not my fault, apologizing for my part in the conflict has led to peace and healing in several of my challenging relationships with friends and co-workers.

This is all easier said than done, but the more we work at these steps, the more productive and fun our time will be with others. Otherwise, one person’s bad attitude can justify repeated bullying attacks, which can escalate over time. Conflicts will always continue to arise in life, but with respect and clear communication, we can work together to resolve issues peacefully.

William Blake wrote about conflict escalating in his poem A Poison Tree. You can find this poem in many collections of his work, including Poetry for Young People – William Blake, which is ideal for children ages nine to twelve. This is a great poem to discuss with children to get them talking about how to deal with conflict and the consequences of letting problems escalate.

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I waterd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night.
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veild the pole;
In the morning glad I see;
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

-William Blake

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